I understand you’re feeling overwhelmed by rejection and negativity. Here’s an article to help you cope with this difficult experience:
After a long hike on the desolate moors of Cornwall, the scout leader said to a much younger me, ‘You’re the strongest in this group.’
This immediately upset the much larger, older boys, and one announced, ‘No, he’s not.’ The leader replied, ‘He has the most endurance.’ This has stayed with me my entire life, and at this moment, I feel like I’m dipping into the very last reserves.
As I sit here in my quiet corner of New Zealand, watching the gentle waves lap against the shore, I’m reminded of a very different kind of wave – the tsunami of rejection that can crash into our lives. Recently, I’ve been inundated with a series of “nos” that have left me feeling, well frankly, “possessed” by negativity. If you’re feeling the same way, know that you’re not alone on this turbulent sea.
It’s more than just a string of rejections – it’s as if I’ve stumbled into a dark, paranormal realm where success and positivity are alien concepts.
This isn’t just a rough patch or a temporary setback. It’s a relentless, all-consuming force that’s been haunting me for years. Thousands upon thousands of emails sent, countless calls made, endless meetings attended. I’ve watched more tutorials and educational videos than I can count. And yet, it feels like I’m trapped in a dystopian city where every turn leads to another blocked road.
What makes this particularly maddening is that I know what success tastes like. I’ve been there before. I understand the steps, the strategies, the mindset needed to achieve it. But this… this is different. It’s as if an invisible force field has erected itself between me and any form of progress.
The rejections pile up like a mountain of “no”, each one adding weight to my already heavy heart. And with each rejection, my thoughts grow darker, more pessimistic. It’s a vicious cycle – the more negative I feel, the more rejection I seem to attract, and the worse it gets. It’s like being caught in a whirlpool of despair, each turn dragging me deeper into the abyss.
Just when I think I’ve made a breakthrough, something else breaks down. It reminds me of the Sisyphean task of painting the Golden Gate Bridge – by the time they finish at one end, it’s time to start over at the beginning. But at least Sisyphus had the certainty of his boulder and his hill. This feels more like trying to paint a bridge in a storm, with the paint washing away faster than I can apply it.
The relentless nature of this struggle is truly debilitating. It’s sapped my energy, my confidence, and at times, even my will to continue. I find myself questioning everything – my abilities, my decisions, even my sanity. How can something this powerful, this all-encompassing, be considered normal? It feels like a curse, a malevolent force that’s latched onto me and refuses to let go.
In my darkest moments, I wonder if I’m trapped in some cosmic joke, doomed to chase success like a mirage in the desert. Each step forward seems to push my goals further away. The constant cycle of hope and disappointment is exhausting, both mentally and physically.
And yet, a small part of me refuses to give up entirely. Perhaps it’s the memory of past successes, or simply that stubborn determination the scout leader recognised. But even this resilience feels like a double-edged sword – keeping me in the game, but also prolonging this seemingly endless struggle.
This is more than just a bad run or a string of unfortunate events. It’s a fundamental shift in my reality, where the laws of cause and effect seem to have been rewritten to my disadvantage. Every day feels like pushing against an invisible, immovable force that’s determined to keep me from succeeding.
In the face of this relentless negativity, it’s hard not to feel like I’m losing a part of myself. The optimism and drive that once defined me are being eroded, replaced by a cynicism and weariness that I barely recognize.
And yet, here I am, still standing, still trying. Perhaps that’s the cruelest part of all – the tiny flicker of hope that refuses to be extinguished, keeping me in this grueling race with no finish line in sight.
The Overwhelming Nature of Rejection
Rejection, in any form, can be painful. But when it comes in waves, one after another, it can feel like we’re drowning in a sea of “nos”. Whether it’s job applications, creative projects, or personal relationships, each rejection can chip away at our self-esteem and leave us questioning our worth.
Understanding the Impact
It’s crucial to recognize that this feeling of being “possessed” by rejection is a normal human response. Our brains are wired to pay more attention to negative experiences as a survival mechanism. This negativity bias can make us feel like we’re surrounded by failure, even when that’s not the reality.
I remember a time when I was trying to launch Seed Hunters, my new charity focused on bringing joy to lives in schools and care homes through nature-based activities. I’d poured my heart and soul into the concept, believing it could truly make a difference in people’s lives. The vision of children and elderly folks alike finding purpose and connection through planting seeds and nurturing growth filled me with hope and excitement.
But as I reached out to potential partners and investors, all I heard was “no”. Each rejection felt like a personal attack, and I began to doubt not just my idea, but myself. The reasons given often made little sense – some said they had run out of funding, others provided vague explanations that seemed to miss the point of what we were trying to achieve.
The operational expenses of running a charity, even one with such a seemingly simple concept, quickly became overwhelming. I found myself caught in a catch-22: needing funds to prove the concept, but unable to get funding without proven results. It was a maddening cycle of rejection and disappointment.
When I discovered the Google Ad Grants program offering $10,000 per month in advertising, I felt a surge of hope. Finally, a chance to get our message out there! The elation I felt upon being accepted was indescribable. But that joy was short-lived as I realized managing this grant was far outside my skill set. The technicalities of Google Ads, the constant need to optimize and adjust campaigns – it was a full-time job in itself, one I wasn’t equipped to handle.
I thought I’d found the solution: hire a specialist management company to handle the Google Ad Grant. It seemed like a no-brainer – use the grant to get professional help, which in turn would help us reach more people and ultimately do more good. But even this idea was met with rejection after rejection.
The constant stream of “nos” began to wear on me. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard to get support for something that was clearly beneficial. We weren’t asking for much – just enough to get off the ground and start making a real difference. But every door seemed to close before we could even get a foot in.
I found myself questioning everything. Was my idea not as good as I thought? Was I not explaining it well enough? Or was there something fundamentally wrong with me that made people unwilling to support this cause?
The rejections weren’t just professional setbacks – they felt deeply personal. Each “no” chipped away at my confidence, my enthusiasm, my belief in the project. I started to dread checking my emails or making phone calls, knowing that more often than not, they would bring more disappointment.
What made it even harder was knowing that while I was struggling with paperwork and funding applications, there were schools and care homes out there that could benefit from our program right now. The thought of all the joy and connection we could be bringing, all held back by bureaucracy and financial hurdles, was heartbreaking.
I kept telling myself that if I could just get one break, one person to believe in us enough to give us a chance, we could prove the value of what we’re doing. But as the rejections piled up, that optimism became harder and harder to maintain.
The worst part is feeling like I can’t do the good I know we’re capable of because of these constant rejections. It’s not just about me or my idea anymore – it’s about all the people we could be helping, all the lives we could be brightening. Every “no” feels like letting them down, even though they don’t even know what they’re missing out on.
This experience has left me feeling drained, discouraged, and at times, ready to give up. But the thought of abandoning this dream, of all the potential good left undone, keeps me going – even on the days when it feels like I’m pushing against an immovable wall of rejection.
From a Wealthness perspective, we need to understand that these feelings, while valid, don’t define us. They’re temporary visitors, not permanent residents in our minds.
Strategies for Coping
So, how do we navigate this tsunami of “nos” without letting it pull us under? Here are some strategies I’ve found helpful:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: Don’t try to push away the pain or disappointment. Allow yourself to feel these emotions fully. As I often say in my Wealthness articles, acknowledging our feelings is the first step to processing them.
- Reframe the Rejection: Each “no” is not a dead end, but a redirection. It’s guiding you towards where you’re meant to be. When I look back at some of my biggest “nos”, I can now see how they led me to even better opportunities.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d offer a friend facing rejection. Remember, you’re doing your best, and that’s enough.
- Seek Support: Don’t isolate yourself. Reach out to friends, family, or a professional. Sharing your experiences can help lighten the load and provide new perspectives.
- Focus on What You Can Control: You can’t control the outcome, but you can control your efforts and attitude. Keep refining your approach and stay persistent.
- Celebrate Small Wins: In the face of rejection, it’s easy to overlook our successes. Make a conscious effort to acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest victories.
- Take Care of Your Wellbeing: Rejection can take a toll on our mental and physical health. Prioritize self-care activities that nourish your body and soul.
Learning from Rejection
As painful as it is, rejection can be a powerful teacher. It can help us refine our ideas, improve our skills, and clarify our goals. In my own journey, I’ve found that some of my greatest successes came after periods of intense rejection and setbacks.
For instance, my wellness program, was originally part of a business development plan I created called The Vanguard Alliance. An opportunity arose with the UK government’s Individual Learning Account (ILA) scheme, which gave everyone £200 to spend on a course. Seeing the potential, I used viral marketing to spread the word, paying commissions to those who introduced others. It was an incredible success – we were on the verge of claiming almost £1 million in funding.
But then, disaster struck. One Monday morning, as we prepared to download the funding, we discovered the scheme had been put on hold. The scheme was another government run disaster. Apparently, scammers and unscrupulous organizations had been claiming funds fraudulently, and all course providers were tarred with the same brush. To make matters worse, when people called to ask about their funding, they were told we’d already received it – which wasn’t true. It was a nightmare. We were accused in the papers and vilified for something we hadn’t done.
We fought back, making good progress in gaining compensation and even securing meetings in Parliament. But just as it seemed we might overcome this setback, the government pulled up the drawbridge, closing the entire department responsible for the scheme.
Undeterred, I attempted to relaunch the program, only to face a battered reputation and repeated hacking. It felt like for every step forward, we were forced two steps back. The constant barrage of setbacks was exhausting and demoralizing.
Yet, through all of this, I kept learning, adapting, and refining the concept. Each obstacle forced me to reevaluate, improve, and innovate. I developed skills I never knew I needed and found strength I didn’t know I possessed. The result, after years of persistence and adaptation, was a much stronger, more resilient program that eventually gained widespread support.
This experience taught me that rejection and setbacks, while painful, can be the forge in which truly successful ideas are hammered into steel. Each ‘no’, each obstacle, each unfair accusation pushed me to make the idea better, to make myself stronger, and to clarify my vision. The path to success is rarely straight, but each twist and turn can lead you to a destination far greater than you initially imagined.
The Power of Persistence
Remember, some of the most successful people in history faced numerous rejections before achieving their goals. J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter was famously rejected by 12 publishers before it finally found a home, a reward for her perseverance and belief in her story. Each rejection could have easily deterred her, yet she pressed on, ultimately creating one of the most beloved literary franchises of all time.
Similarly, Walt Disney’s journey to success is filled with setbacks that would have discouraged many. At the age of 22, he was fired from a newspaper for “lacking imagination.” This harsh critique could have crushed his dreams, but instead, it became a catalyst for him to pursue his true passion in animation. After facing bankruptcy with his early ventures, Disney moved to Hollywood and eventually built an empire that changed the landscape of entertainment forever.
The experiences of Rowling and Disney illustrate a crucial point:
rejection can be a powerful motivator.
It can push us to dig deeper, to innovate, and to find new paths when the old ones seem blocked. Each failure can teach us something essential about ourselves and our goals. Instead of viewing rejection as a final verdict on our worth or abilities, we can choose to see it as an opportunity for growth.
In this light, it’s important to remember that every successful person has faced their share of obstacles. They didn’t let those challenges define them; instead, they used them as fuel for their ambitions. So when you encounter your own rejections—whether in business, creative pursuits, or personal endeavors—remember that these moments are not signs of defeat but rather invitations to rise stronger and more determined than before. Embrace the journey, learn from each experience, and keep moving forward; your breakthrough may be just around the corner.
Riding Out the Storm
As we navigate this tsunami of “nos”, it’s important to remember that like all storms, this too shall pass.
The key is to stay afloat, keep moving forward, and trust in your own resilience.
In the Wealthness philosophy, we often talk about balance. Finding balance in the face of rejection means acknowledging the pain while not letting it define us. It means learning from our experiences while not being paralyzed by them.
A Personal Reflection
I’m reminded of a sailing trip I took years ago. We encountered a force 9 storm in the Bay of Biscay that seemed to go on forever. The waves were relentless, and at times, I wondered if we’d make it through. But we did. We adjusted our sails, we stayed the course, and eventually, we found calmer waters.
Dealing with a tsunami of rejection is much the same. It may feel overwhelming now, but by implementing these strategies and staying true to your course, you’ll navigate through this storm. And when you do, you’ll likely find that you’re stronger, wiser, and more resilient for the experience.
Remember, you’re not possessed by these rejections – you’re simply experiencing a challenging phase of your journey. Keep your head above water, keep moving forward, and trust that clearer skies are ahead. In the world of Wealthness, every experience, even the painful ones, contribute to our growth and ultimate wellbeing.
So, my friend, as you face this wave of “nos”, know that you have the strength to ride it out. And when you do, you might just find that the view from the other side is more beautiful than you ever imagined.
