I Said NO … And EVERYTHING Changed

Have you ever felt like you’re drowning in a sea of tasks, desperately trying to keep your head above water?

That was me not too long ago. As a founder and CEO with self-diagnosed ADHD, I was constantly juggling what felt like a million balls, exhausted from the effort of keeping them all in the air. My days were a blur of meetings, emails, and never-ending to-do lists. I was busy, sure, but was I really productive?

Every morning, I’d sit down with my coffee and dutifully write out my to-do list for the day. The items would flow onto the page in no particular order, just as they popped into my head. “Reply to Sarah’s email,” “Research new marketing strategies,” “Call the accountant,” “Brainstorm product ideas.” By the end of the day, I’d usually managed to cross off most items, feeling a sense of accomplishment. But something wasn’t right. Despite my busy days and completed lists, my business wasn’t growing as fast as I’d hoped. I was stuck in a cycle of busyness without real progress.

Then, late one night, as I was mindlessly scrolling through YouTube, I stumbled upon a video that would change everything. The speaker, a successful entrepreneur, talked about how he valued his time. He assigned himself an hourly rate – in his case, a whopping $5,000. Anything that wasn’t worth that rate, he’d automate or delegate. It was a simple concept, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I couldn’t sleep that night, my mind racing with possibilities. The next morning, I sat down and really thought about my own hourly rate. While I couldn’t justify $5,000 an hour (yet), I settled on a figure that felt both aspirational and realistic. Then, I looked at my to-do list with fresh eyes.

Suddenly, tasks that I’d been doing without question for years seemed ridiculous. Did I really need to spend an hour formatting that report when I could hire a virtual assistant to do it for a fraction of my hourly rate? Was it worth my time to research every little detail of a potential new market, or should I delegate that to a team member and focus on the high-level strategy?

As I started putting this new mindset into practice, something unexpected happened. I found myself saying “no” more often. And you know what? It was incredibly liberating.

“No” to low-priority tasks that didn’t align with our company’s goals.

“No” to researching projects that weren’t strategically important.

“No” to time-wasting meetings that could’ve been emails.

At first, it felt uncomfortable. I worried about seeming rude or unhelpful. But as I stuck with it, I realized something important: saying “no” to the wrong things allowed me to say “yes” to the right ones.

The power of “no” extended far beyond my work life. I started saying “no” to social obligations that drained my energy rather than recharged me. I said “no” to toxic relationships that had been holding me back. I even said “no” to that extra drink at networking events that would’ve left me groggy and unproductive the next day.

Each “no” felt like shedding a weight I didn’t even realize I was carrying. It was like decluttering my life, one refusal at a time.

But let’s be clear – learning to say “no” effectively isn’t about being negative or unhelpful. It’s about being strategic with your time and energy. It’s about understanding your priorities and aligning your actions with them.

Strategies I developed for saying “no” effectively

1. Be clear and concise: Don’t leave room for misinterpretation. A simple “I’m sorry, but I can’t take that on right now” is often enough.
2. Offer an alternative: If you can’t do something, consider suggesting someone else who might be able to help.
3. Explain briefly, if appropriate: Sometimes, a short explanation can soften the blow. “I’m focusing on our core projects right now, so I can’t take on any new commitments.”
4. Don’t over-apologize: Remember, you’re making a decision that’s best for you and your goals. There’s no need for excessive guilt.
5. Practice: Like any skill, saying “no” gets easier with practice. Start with small, low-stakes situations and work your way up.

As I got better at saying “no,” I noticed significant changes in my work and personal life. My days became more focused and productive. Instead of spreading myself thin across a dozen mediocre projects, I was able to pour my energy into a few high-impact initiatives.

One of the most significant improvements was in my ability to innovate. Before, my brain was so cluttered with minor tasks and obligations that I rarely had the mental space for creative thinking. Now, with fewer distractions, I found myself having more “aha!” moments. Ideas for new products, marketing strategies, and business improvements started flowing more freely.

My team noticed the change too. At first, some were taken aback by my newfound assertiveness. But as they saw the positive results – clearer direction, faster decision-making, and ultimately better outcomes – they got on board. In fact, many of them started adopting the same approach in their own work.

I remember one particular project that really drove home the power of “no.” We were considering expanding into a new market. In the past, I would have thrown myself into researching every aspect of this potential move. I would have spent weeks poring over market reports, competitor analyses, and financial projections.

This time, I took a different approach. I said “no” to doing all the research myself. Instead, I delegated specific research tasks to team members, each focusing on their area of expertise. I said “no” to endless planning meetings and instead scheduled one focused strategy session. And most importantly, I said “no” to my perfectionist tendencies, accepting that we couldn’t know everything before making a decision.

The result? We made our decision in half the time it would have taken before, with just as much confidence. By saying “no” to unnecessary steps and distractions, we were able to move faster and more decisively than our competitors.

But the benefits of saying “no” weren’t limited to big strategic decisions. I found that it improved my day-to-day productivity as well. I started each morning by looking at my to-do list and asking, “What on this list can I say ‘no’ to?” Sometimes it was delegating a task. Other times it was eliminating it entirely. And occasionally, it was simply postponing it to a more appropriate time.

This daily practice of prioritization and elimination transformed my workdays. Instead of constantly reacting to whatever came my way, I was proactively shaping my day around my most important goals. The result was a level of focus and productivity I’d never experienced before.

I’d always been familiar with the 80/20 rule – the idea that 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts. But it wasn’t until I learned to say “no” that I could actually implement it. Before, I was just working through a list. Now, I was focusing on what truly mattered.

The impact on my personal life was just as profound. By saying “no” to non-essential commitments, I found I had more time for the things that truly mattered to me. I was able to spend more quality time with my family, without the constant distraction of work thoughts. I rediscovered old hobbies that I’d abandoned due to “lack of time.” And perhaps most importantly, I had time for self-care – exercise, meditation, and simply allowing myself to relax without feeling guilty.

One unexpected benefit of learning to say “no” was the improvement in my relationships. At first, I worried that turning down invitations or requests would damage my friendships and professional networks. But I found the opposite to be true. By being more selective about my commitments, I was able to be fully present and engaged when I did say “yes.” My friends and colleagues appreciated the quality of our interactions more than the quantity.

Moreover, setting clear boundaries earned me respect. People began to value my time more because they saw that I valued it myself. This led to more meaningful collaborations and deeper relationships, both personally and professionally.

Of course, learning to say “no” wasn’t always easy. There were times when I doubted myself. Was I missing out on opportunities by saying “no” too often? Was I becoming too rigid or inflexible?

Questions to ask myself before saying “no”

1. Does this align with my current priorities and goals?
2. Is this the best use of my time right now?
3. What are the potential consequences of saying “no”? Of saying “yes”?
4. Can this be delegated or postponed?
5. Am I saying “no” out of fear or genuine lack of alignment?

These questions helped me ensure that I was saying “no” for the right reasons, and not just out of habit or fear of commitment.

As I became more comfortable with saying “no,” I also learned the importance of how to say “yes” effectively. When I did commit to something, I made sure it was a wholehearted “yes.” No more half-hearted agreements or reluctant commitments. This approach not only made me more effective in my work but also more satisfied and energized.

The results of this shift in mindset were transformative. My companies became far more successful as I focused my energy on high-impact activities. We were able to innovate faster, make decisions more quickly, and outmaneuver our competitors. Our team became more aligned and motivated as they saw the clear direction and purpose in our work.

Personally, I felt a sense of control and purpose that I’d never experienced before. The constant feeling of being overwhelmed gave way to a calm confidence. I was no longer at the mercy of my to-do list; I was the master of my time and energy.

Looking back, I realize that learning to say “no” was about much more than time management or productivity. It was about aligning my actions with my values and priorities. It was about having the courage to disappoint others in the short term to avoid disappointing myself in the long term. It was about creating space in my life for what truly matters.

Now, when I mentor young entrepreneurs or speak at business events, one of the first pieces of advice I give is to learn the power of “no.” I tell them that saying “no” isn’t about being negative or limiting yourself. It’s about opening up possibilities by focusing on what’s truly important.

I encourage them to start small. Say “no” to one unnecessary meeting this week. Decline one social invitation that doesn’t excite you. Delegate one task that someone else could do just as well. Then, pay attention to how it feels and what you do with that freed-up time and energy.

As you practice saying “no,” you’ll likely face some challenges. People who are used to hearing “yes” from you might push back. You might feel guilty or worry about missing out. But stick with it. The benefits far outweigh the temporary discomfort.

Remember, every time you say “no” to something that’s not aligned with your goals, you’re saying “yes” to something that is.

You’re saying “yes” to focus, to quality over quantity, to your own priorities and well-being.

In our fast-paced, always-on world, the ability to say “no” is more than just a useful skill – it’s a superpower. It’s the key to breaking free from the trap of busyness and moving towards true productivity and fulfillment.

So, the next time you feel overwhelmed by your to-do list or trapped by obligations that don’t serve you, remember the power of “no.” It might just be the most positive word in your vocabulary. It certainly was for me. By learning to say “no,” I didn’t just change my schedule – I changed my life.

And who knows? Maybe someday, you’ll find yourself valuing your time at $5,000 an hour too. But even if you don’t, by mastering the art of saying “no,” you’ll be valuing something even more precious – your life, your energy, and your potential to make a real difference in the world.